You may also go directly to any one of these related articles.
Losing My Religion
Answers to a good friend who is concerned for my soul
Christianity 101
What Christianity teaches in a nutshell
The REAL Four Spiritual Laws
Why bad things happen to good people
The Five Faces of False Religion
How to tell if the religion or faith-based system you follow is false
How to Fight the Religious Right
A guide to defending yourself against Fundamentalist Christians
Do Unto Others
A guide to striking back at the Religious Right
Proud to be Liberal
Why Liberal thought is better in line with American values than its Conservative counterpart
The Basic Assumption
A discussion on the nature of truth
A full listing of articles can be found in the
Even Horizon Rider
listed below
The Event Horizon Rider
Elroy's poetry on love, loss, and sorrow can be found in Mental Equations
listed below
Mental Equations
Elroy's music is available for download in MP3 format
listed below
Talk About
Spiritual Incest
Babooshka
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To: Brian Elroy McKinley (age 14)
From: Brian Elroy McKinley (age 42)
Date: November 18, 2002
Hi Brian,
This may come as a bit of a shock, but I'm writing you from the future. No, this is not a joke or trick. I'm really you, only I'm 28 years older. Here, I'll prove it. I know you keep a pair of Levi's jeans hidden in a cave in a rock in the avocado groves by the Prior's ranch at the end of the street. I know each morning you walk up to the grove, change into the Levi's and then go to school - only to later change back into the embarrassing Pic-N-Save slacks Mom makes you wear before returning home. I also know you keep a stash of Playboy magazines hidden in another cave in some rocks, but this one is located past the groves, on the eastern slope that heads into San Pasqual valley. I know you go there every few days to look at pictures and masturbate. Now, tell me - who else in this world would know that but you, er... me, er...well us.
Yes, it's true - I am you, only older.
And I have good news! It's now the year 2002, and I'm still alive. The world didn't end. There was no rapture of the Saints or 7 years of Tribulation, and California didn't slide into the Ocean in 1982 like predicted. The world is still here, so you can stop worrying about all those prophecies you keep hearing.
Other good news! You still have most of your hair. Yeah, it's true, you've lost some from the top of your head, but you're not bald like your cousins are (but don't tell them that....no need to make them worry about it until it happens).
And even better news yet; you have a lot of great things to look forward to in your life to come. You will travel to Europe, Latin America and Asia. You will learn multiple languages, and meet many wonderful people from all around the earth. And there are many other things I don't have space to tell you about, but be sure you will have some fabulous adventures.
But you could have even more great experiences if you'll take a few pointers from your older self. After all, who else knows better than the one who lived it. So please take these on faith. Without describing your entire future, it's almost impossible for some of these things to make sense. There are a few, however, that are pretty obvious.
- Stop hiding Levis in the groves. Since I know it's too risky to smuggle them in and out of the house very often, they've gotten pretty dirty and rank. You don't realize it just yet, but you're offending people who might otherwise enjoy your company. Instead of making you cool, your hidden jeans are making you look like someone with a hygiene problem. And speaking of that, start washing your feet better. Don't take as long as I did to realize your foot odor is also putting people off.
- Don't be such a dork in your English class. I know you hate all the dumb rules they give you, and I know your teachers aren't smart enough to explain why they're needed, but the sooner you learn them, the better off you'll be in the long run. After all, even though you hate English and have flunked it several times - it's my twisted joy to inform you that you will be a writer one day. Yep...I know. All those English teachers who have written you off would just choke if they knew that. But it's true. So mellow out guy....knowing how to use English correctly is one of the best things you will learn.
- Drop the German class, and switch to Spanish. Yeah, I know...Spanish is seen as the "wetback" language by you, but that's because you're allowing others to push you into a very racist form of thinking. Trust me on this - you will use your Spanish a great deal. But because of my early bigotry, it took me until just this past few years before I learned it. Spanish is a wonderful language rich in history. And with it you'll be able to travel to Mexico City sooner - something I know you've wanted to do for some time.
- Now this may seem too far into your future to think about, but put it in the back of your head and act on it when the time is right. In the early 1980s a little computer software company named Microsoft will show up. Beg, borrow, steal whatever money you can and invest all of it in the new company. Yes, at times it may seem like they're going to go under, but trust me on this: if you want to be rich by the time you're 40, buy their stock as soon as you can.
- Now, I don't want to change your future too drastically for fear it might upset some of the good things that have happened, but let me give you at least one piece of advice about your future love life. Don't rush into marriage when you get to 28 years old - even if she's attractive and a good cook. Trust me on this. I know. And if you do get married at 28, don't rush into remarriage if it ends in divorce. But if you do, and you end up divorced, it's not the end of the world. There's a whole life of wonder and joy that will be yours in the following years.
- Oh, and while I'm trying to help remove some bad things from your life, I want to tell you that Jimmy Carter is not the Anti-Christ. In a few years a speaker at church will try to convince you that the president at that time, whose name will be Jimmy Carter, is the Anti-Christ. And without knowing any better it will scare the hell out of you. Don't let it. It's all a mistake.....but before I go much further into that, let give this warning:
These last three items may be a little more difficult, but if you follow them you'll enjoy life so much more, and you'll avoid causing some very special people a lot of pain. I know you, and I know you never want to cause anyone pain - including yourself. So here goes...
- Don't be afraid of this. I know you will be, but believe me, it's true. You're going to lose your faith. After a long battle within yourself you're going to realize you can't believe it after all. I know. I know. You spend a lot of time reading your Bible and trying to understand it - and all of that will come in handy for you, but not in making you a better Christian. Rather, it'll make you better able to defend your reasons for not being one. I tell you this so you'll know it's okay. Nothing terrible happens when you give up your beliefs. God doesn't strike you down. The world doesn't end. Instead you simply stop living in fear all the time. You know what fear I'm talking about. Remember what I said before - the world doesn't end. All that stuff they're teaching you simply isn't true.
- Learn to enjoy your sexuality openly. I know you hide it now because you're afraid it's a sin, and you're afraid of what your parents, brothers and fellow church members will think, but it doesn't have to be that way. It's not a sin. It's not evil. It's not a bad thing to explore your sexuality openly. Yes, some people will judge you, but trust me, you can withstand that judgment. In fact, once you learn to live your life like an open book, where you don't have to hide who you really are from others, you will stop wasting so much time in your fear and your worry. And those who really love you will still love you - that's the good part!
Learn to be real about every area of your life - and don't fear your own sex drive. It's not wrong. But if you follow the path you're on you will become very good at lying in order to keep your sexual activity hidden from all. Living a life of honesty will keep you from hurting some very dear people in your life to come. Learning to be real, open, and brutally honest will allow you to keep from hurting some dear people in your life. I can tell you right now that if you don't learn to be honest and open about this most secret of areas, you will surely destroy some of the relationships you cherish the most.
- Finally, I'm going to give you some very specific advice. Write it down, and put it where you can find it later. Do exactly what I tell you, and you may very well save yourself a lot of pain. No, don't be scared - you're going to be okay either way - and no matter what happens you'll always have to remember that you're not being blamed for anything. Just do this, and know that at least you tried. On Thanksgiving Day, 1975, you're supposed to go on a Church trip to Mexico. Don't go. Don't sign up. Instead stay at home and stick by your brother Steve's side all day long. Don't let him out of your site. If he tries to leave, go with him. If he gets mad at you, deal with it. Do whatever you have to do to stay with him - even if you stay up all night to do it. And then whatever he does, remember that you tried to be with him, but that ultimately you can't control him. Never blame yourself for what others choose to do. That advice will come in very handy several times in your life.
Well, I'm running out of room. Although it's really cool that the gurus of technology have figured out how to send this mail back in time to you, they don't give us much room. But I hope you'll hear me and realize I'm simply trying to help you enjoy your future even more than you already will.
Big hugs from your older self!
Brian Elroy
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